Take Two

About a month ago Happy's godfather was in town for a visit. One day during his visit I had a homeschooling field trip and Mr. Sloth was heading to work that day so I asked (made) said godfather come with me. We were heading to the orchestra for a 45 minute show. It was geared towards children and the theme was "Sleighride". How bad could it be, right?

The second we grabbed a 'first come first serve' seat Pax had a blowout. So Godfather sat with Happy and Demand while I went to change the diaper. When I came back I found they'd been booted from their seats for no good reason and the infuriating usher was seating an entire school in between us and my homeschool group. After giving the clueless usher a piece of my mind we finally took our seats but now I was seated next to teachers and students not homeschool families. Happy was content for all of three minutes before he wanted to sit on my lap, which was taken by Pax who was nursing. A fit then ensued. Of course by this time I'm getting looks like, "Why would you bring babies to the orchestra?" Twice, Godfather, took Happy out of the theater before the show ended and we made a very quick dash for the exit.

The experience intimidated me. How can I do this alone? I could barely do it with help, and I wouldn't consider that a success. I can't physically hold Happy and Pax and I definitely can't chase Happy while nursing Pax...or can I??

I let some homeschool friends convince me it was possible. When my friend who has three boys the same ages our our children (four, two, and four months) told me that The Children's Theater is different, I believed her. Last Saturday some free tickets became available so I decided to give it a go. Sunday night I found out we were supposed to get a snowstorm right as we were to be driving and it was in the city where I rarely drive. When Mr. Sloth asked that I not go I thought "Great! A good excuse for not going." Then the weather changed and it wasn't supposed to be so bad. (Grrrr.)


We had to be there, in the lobby at 9:45am. Let me tell you something, the Sloth family cannot be anywhere before 9:30am (We are usually a part of the procession for 10am Sunday Mass) As most parents know, if you want your child to sleep in, make plans. To get there on time I had to leave the house at 9am. Happy slept until 8:30am and usually takes his sweet time eating breakfast . Demand is the slowest human being on the face of the earth and the more you rush her the slower she gets, and Pax of course wanted to nurse at 8:55am.

Deep breath.

Thankfully, God provides, and Mr. Sloth didn't go into work until we were loaded into the van. He corralled "Thing 1& Thing 2" while I nursed Pax. Then it was off to the show. It was actually an easy drive. It's one of the few places I've driven to before so I wasn't nervous and we were there in plenty of time. I was surprised to find that I seemed to be one of the few families without a father present. You gotta love homeschool families. Most dads were off for Christmas I guess and with us just getting back from vacation (big mistake in December) Mr. Sloth had to work that day. I found a friend who didn't have babies and had her husband with her and asked....ahem...told her that we were sitting next to her. Before I could finish my sentence she said, "So you can ditch?"

God Bless you!

This particular friend of mine shares the same maiden name as me. We tend to understand each other.

So we had to meet at 9:45am but the show didn't start until 10:30am. We were seated first of course and Happy wasn't happy about it. Now Demand is scared to begin with. That one thing you must remember or nothing else that follows will seem wondrous. (Sorry, that was a movie reference.) Demand is in a phase where she is afraid of everything. So when the show started by turning the house lights off and I was up the stairs chasing Happy, Demand started crying. So there we were Act 1, scene 1. One child crying and three on my lap.

I was eventually able to peel Demand off of me and Happy was very entertained for the first 20 minutes, then he remembered he was a two year old boy and started making exit attempts. Demand was getting increasingly frightened as cowboy's with guns (a specific fear of hers) and scary dream sequences unfolded onstage. One of the homeschooling mom's behind us caught on and had her 9/10 year old daughter, who was sitting next to Demand, offer to hold her hand. Demand leaped out of her chair and sat on this girls lap.

One down, two to go.

Since I needed both hands to chase Happy, I handed Pax over to another mom. After chasing/repremanding Happy I came back. Soon Pax started fussing so I traded babies with my fellow mom-friend. She handed me Pax and took Happy. Pax needed a diaper change. Out I went for the fourth time. When I came back Happy just HAD to sit with me, but Pax wanted to nurse. So as it turns out, I can chase a toddler while nursing thanks to my extra-long muslin swaddle blankets I just bought. At this time, carrying two babies I managed to find my way to the cry room. Turns out, it's pretty nice in there. You are still in the theatre, just behind glass. (The other theater there just plays a video of the live performance in the lobby.) Finally, intermission. I made my way back to the seats to collect Demand and my diaper bag as now Happy seemed to have filled his pants. Being intermission I had to weave my way though 20+ girls waiting to use the restroom with Pax in the carrier, Happy on my hip, and Demand trailing behind very....very slowly. I wrangled Happy only to find that he had not pooped but was in fact just gassy.

After collecting ourselves and heading to the lobby for the rest of the intermission I asked Demand if she wanted to stay or go. She wanted to stay but stay with me. Fine. However as Act 2 started Demand who was playing with her friends was no where in sight. Another mom found her sitting with her friends so I headed to the cry room without her, but she thought I was in the theatre. Just as the show started I saw her new friend walking her back to find me. So I had to drag Happy and Pax back out into the lobby to meet her and then head back to the cry room.

The second act went surprisingly well. Demand and Happy stood on chairs to watch the show through the sound proof glass while I stood there hand feeding them whatever snacks I had and Pax slept in the carrier. I don't think I mentioned this before but just as we were seated we found out that the show was 2+ hours long. Whoa there Tiger! I was assuming this would be 45 minutes, 1 hour TOPS. Two hours???? So we blew through snack time AND lunch. As soon as the show ended we were heading for the door and I would have stopped somewhere close for lunch (it being an hour and half past their lunchtime) but it was a heavy snowfall remember and I wanted to get as close to home as possible.

Finally a little after 1pm we pull into our garage. Demand is starving, Pax too is hungry and has been screaming for fifteen minutes, and Happy is asleep and I am forced to wake him. The good news is that starving your children through snacktime and well past lunchtime does seem to make them eat more. Too bad it was Burger King.

That my friends was my second attempt at an outing with the kiddos and yet I press on! Tomorrow I am 'planning' on trying to take them to morning Mass. If you've ever seen us at Sunday Mass you would now laugh and say "IMPOSSIBLE!" and I wouldn't doubt you, but I have to try sometime and there is no time like the present. Now the real trick is getting out the door in time. Mass starts at 8am and we are rarely out the door before 9:30am...9am earliest. So if we are up, fed,dressed, and in the van by 8:45am it will be a Christmas Miracle, but this girl likes a challenge.